From 911 Jesus to Personal Savior: Finding Hope in Change

My name is Mary Kay Payne, and I’ve been a member of AWPC for a little over 12 years. Today, I’d like to share my story about where “my hope comes from” (1 Peter 3:15).

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Before

I was painfully shy growing up. Years later, when I took a test for management training, it was no surprise that I was labeled an “Introvert.”

Even now, I enjoy people, but they can exhaust me. I sometimes hesitate to attend church in person, especially since I go alone. My husband doesn’t attend church, and my children live far away. That can feel lonely and even painful. Trying new things or stepping out of my comfort zone has always been hard for me. Change can be hard.

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How?

I experienced a lot of change when I retired. I was at a crossroads. You probably know those seasons of life—graduating from school, moving to a new city, or losing a loved one.

For me, retirement brought unsettling change. But instead of seeking God’s guidance, I relied on my own strength. Jesus was my “911 Jesus.” I’d only call on Him when I needed BIG help.

Jesus, my dad had a stroke—can you heal him?

Jesus, my son struggles in school—can you help him out?

But God wanted something more. He wanted a different relationship with me.

It all started when I joined a few ministry projects at Westside. I had never been involved with “church people” before. After a while, Walter, our pastor, suggested I call LaTonya Gates at PAWKids. I resisted. Remember, I’m an introvert, and Grove Park and Donald Lee Hollowell are WAY out of my comfort zone.

I’ll never forget the day I finally made the call. That phone felt like it weighed 1,000 pounds.

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After

That was in 2015. In the nine years since, LaTonya and I have worked together, laughed together, and cried together. Lots of crying.

When I started volunteering in Grove Park, I thought I would be the giver and the neighbors would be the receivers. But what I’ve learned over the years is that I’m the one who’s received far more than I could ever give.

I’ve been inspired by countless stories of resilience, courage, and faith. Like Ms. Tommie and Ms. Rochelle—two pillars of the community who gave away their own groceries and money to help others during COVID. Or the way families in Grove Park come together after a tragedy with prayer, food, and financial assistance.

That is the love of Jesus in action. And what I’ve realized is that Jesus was already in Grove Park long before I ever showed up.

The Jesus I encountered there is nothing like my old “911 Jesus.” He meets me in my introversion. He meets me in my fears. And He meets me in my retirement, my times of transition, and my moments of change.

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Call to Action

That’s my hope: Jesus became personal to me, leading me exactly where I needed to go. He met me in my introversion, my retirement transition, and my everything.

What would you hope He can be to you?

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